Comments on: Have you been raped , harassed, financially scammed, or molested by an AA member?

By: massive

massive — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 23:00:54 +0000

liz- i did have many fond memories from Hawaii in the 70′s. Be even there when I returned it is no longer what it was then and there either. Most old timers I know either dont go anymore or go to small meetings in someones house. They dont have a clue whats going on except because of all my emails and Make AA Safer Work I did before I left.

By: Liz Purcell

Liz Purcell — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 17:03:35 +0000

Thanks, Massive. I’m glad I stopped going. I am sorry to hear it’s gone downhill. I will always have some fond memories of AA and some of the people in it.

By: massive

massive — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 00:02:19 +0000

liz- sorry this is happening to you. They seem to have boundary issues for sure.

I’ve only been to 3 AA meetings during the past 15 years.
and that is why you saw so much good. AA has really declined in the past 10 years!

By: Liz Purcell

Liz Purcell — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 22:41:53 +0000

Thanks for this site and your support, Massive. Chantay did harass me again, last Wednesday. She rushed past me and cornered me while I was waiting for the elevator in my building. I couldn’t really take the stairs, because I was carrying a heavy lounge chair. She pretended she didn’t know what she had done, and asked me to tell her so she could make amends. I told her I didn’t want to talk to her, yet she continued talking to me until the elevator arrived, saying she would never do anything to hurt me, etc. I was going to wait for one more incident before filing a police report, but decided this morning to go ahead and do it. Just have a bad feeling about it. I also tried to talk to my apartment manager, but she’s out today. I have an appointment with her for Wednesday. I think the 12-step groups HAVE changed since we started going. Not that they were ever perfect, but for one thing, a lot more people going today are court-ordered. Also, while I had some men 13-step and proposition me, in general, I found most AA men to be pretty nice. I got rides from several who never tried anything. Maybe I was just lucky. Also, I’ve only been to 3 AA meetings during the past 15 years.

By: massive

massive — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 19:08:25 +0000

Liz- These people are really cold blooded, immature and judgmental. Take care of yourself. AND please keep writing. Im so sorry this happened to you. Some were very cold to us Kali and I end the end. Of course there were a few who were nice. Honestly, AA/NA is shrinking and many good people are running and not going to public meetings anymore. MOst of the oldtimers in Hawaii I know, dont attend and only go once a week to a home meeting with a small amount attending.

By: Border Collie Mix

Border Collie Mix — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:58:46 +0000

I am so sorry this happened! You did NOTHING to cause this. How many women have men in their homes hired to do work without getting raped? How many times does a woman have to say no for it to “count”? This guy was working you and your husband in order to get the opportunity to rape you. It’s probably his method of operation in AA. Very sick, and no doubt the way everyone is scared to death to out another member no matter what they do protects him and allows him to be a very successful predator.

By: Liz Purcell

Liz Purcell — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 16:23:26 +0000

Anonymous: I’d like to say that I admire your courage for posting your story on this site. By doing so, you could be saving some women, and maybe even some men, from the same thing. Please know if you don’t already that it was NOT your fault, but entirely the fault of the bastard who did it. I am sorry about what happened to you.

By: Liz Purcell

Liz Purcell — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 16:01:05 +0000

Recently I have been bullied and harassed about my looks by a Narcotics Anonymous member with at least 3 years of sobriety who lives in my apartment building. Her name is Chantay. We had been on a friendly basis and I thought she was a nice person. Then the Saturday before last I ran into her and a friend of hers on the street. We talked for awhile, then walked into our building together. Chantay and her friend walked up the stairs. I remained in the entryway to watch something that was happening in front of the building. As soon as I turned my back on Chantay and her friend to look out the window, they burst into hysterical laughter. Then one of them whistled. Ironically, shortly before this, Chantay had criticized what her friend was wearing, asking if she was planning to go the meeting dressed like THAT. There was nothing “wrong” with how her friend was dressed that I could see, and I never knew dressing up to be a requirement of attending 12-step meetings. A couple of days later I saw Chantay on the street and she acted super happy and friendly. I figured she would, since I have been reading books about abusers, and one thing they say is that abusers feel better after having abused someone. I asked her if she worked the 12 steps of Narcotics Anonymous, and she said yes. I asked her if one of the promises of working the spiritual program of the 12 steps was becoming an abusive, cowardly misogynist. She said “What?” and looked shocked. I told her maybe she should ask her higher power and walked away. Then last Friday I was in the park and was just leaving as Chantay and a friend (wasn’t sure if it was the same one I had met before) entered the park. As I was walking away from the park, Chantay (I’m pretty sure it was her) said “ugly” over and over again in a high-pitched, sing-song voice. There isn’t much I can do about it at this point, but I am keeping a log which I will take to the police station if it continues or if she threatens me, which I now wouldn’t put past her.

By: Anonymityspeaking

Anonymityspeaking — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 12:54:52 +0000

I live in Denver so not open to meeting yet, but thank you….maybe in the future.

By: Massive

Massive — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 07:57:55 +0000

anonymous speaking. this is a horrible frightening story. I am so sorry this happened to you, but I am so glad to hear you took action and fought back. It is so insane the way these women protect the predator. I would like to talk to you directly if you want. There are many supporters on some of the blogs. http://www.leavingaa.com follow the thread WHY I LEFT AA. I have been doing some serious work and I would like to tell you off the blog some of the news. makeaasafer@gmail.com .

I am fearful for others safety who come into my life. However, my true friends and family stand with me against sexual harassment.

AA/NA have become very dangerous. 3rd level sex offenders and violent criminals to 12 step as part of their plea bargains. Bad , bad stuff. Even old timer AA members have no idea this is going on. I was told by an previous AA trustee/board member that parole officers say all the time that the predators in jail laugh about how easy AA women are. It is beyond sick!