Red Flags Missed Kristine Cass met him in an AA meeting. Better think twice before you head to coffee or give your number to a stranger in an AA meeting.

In Memorial for Kristine and Saundra Cass. Murdered in Honolulu August 20, 2010.

My work shall continue to warn the public that AA meetings are not safe. That NY AA has a responsibility to address safety for all members.

Judges, Lawyers, parole Officers and the like need to address this growing problem.

If anyone knows Her parents or her ex husband please have them contact me here.

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “Red Flags Missed Kristine Cass met him in an AA meeting. Better think twice before you head to coffee or give your number to a stranger in an AA meeting.

  1. HI Marilyn- Thank you for stopping by and Welcome ! I am so sorry for your loss of what I can see is beautiful woman and her daughter. The red flags misses were not by her. But the fact that these types are men are sitting in meetings who should not be plea dealed there. I would like to know more because at first when I heard about this murder I was wondering if he was stalking her. And it was hard to believe she was in a long relationship with this man. So that is the case you say? WOW …She is the reason I decided to make the film to warn women that those violent men are being court ordered to AA …a place that is unregulated , Unsafe and covers up and many times blames the victims.

    About her being an alcoholic…I believe you. Many people who go there are not. They want help and get sucked in. …or not….I am sorry she was taken this way. She seemed like a beautiful lovely woman as her daughter looked so sweet ….I was horrified by their murder and have been working tirelessly for 5 years to bring about change in the US and the world when it comes to AA and court ordering of these violent offenders.

    Like

  2. I knew Kristine very well. We were (well known) best friends in our home town for years. She lived with me and my parents after her first divorce. I helped her move to Vancouver. We lost touch when she met her second husband due to my bad choices for my life. I was devastated to learn of her murder a year AFTER the fact as our friends had conspired to keep the news from me.
    I would be very surprised if Kristine was an alchoholic. VERY.
    As for red flags that she missed…it seemed that she did not miss them at all but was trying to fend off this agressive pursuer. Reports in the media that he was her jilted boyfriend are false. He really wasn’t her type. A few coffees from someone who keeps showing up where you are is not a relationship.
    She was a funny, loving, spirited, hard working woman.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Marilyn, I knew Kristine well here in Hawaii. She was the first person to approach me in a meeting and I lived just a block away from her in Makiki Heights. My daughter would have graduated same year as Saundra, but they attended different schools and had not seen each other in a while due to my absence from the cult.I used to pass her and Saundra as they played in a nearby grass park area several times a week before this tragedy, but had not been close in recent months because of my distaste for what I call “the cult.” Kristine and I joked often of the cult lifestyle. I personally have found another way through Passages program of Ventura CA. But, I can say, unfortunately, we both needed something when we entered those rooms out of desperation. I know her story and she would want you to know that alcohol was taking her to the darkest of places. She was genuinely happy in those rooms, but I believe that is unfortunate, as it is for anyone that gets help there. It is not a necessary path and can be damaging due to the significant number of “misfits” and psychopaths looking for victims (relationship usually). Also, anything that takes away your power to cognitively and emotionally restructure your own being is scary. You must rely on the group and GOD only. I have no trouble personally with the God component accept how religion is infused and that the program is not shared by experts on either theology or addiction counseling and thus is really a bunch of drunks helping drunks (but some of the drunks are not stable mentally and there is no assessment process to get in!) I intuitively, as a psychologist, fought that program and hate that it is continuing to convince people, although they say they promote any other way….it is clear when in a while that if you do not do what they say, you will die due to a disease that does pushups. BULL and not supported by science at all! Kristine had a soft heart and I noticed a tendency towards befriending the “lost” ones. I think the unfortunate yet so beautiful gift of empathy that she held so deeply, combined with loneliness, and bad timing is the simple reason for this horrible outcome. But, from a preventative standpoint, the hospital that the evil character was seeking services at for his mental condition is guilty. The military is guilty. AA is guilty…Why AA? Simple…there should be no mandated members accepted into a program of free will. You need to want it to get better so why are we allowing forced people to attend? Also, the damn sponsor of that idiot…where was he to warn her?!!!!!! Where was anyone? I knew of him…no idea they were seeing eachother and I knew he should be institutionalized from day 1!!! I would never even speak to him due to his odd outbursts. Clearly mentally ill. The truth is that she was likely NOT dating him but was too nice too often leading him to take ownership. Also, as a survivor of domestic violence, I can say, it is way too easy for the perpetrators to go on with life after a first conviction (which he had). They should have to wear a tattoo on the forehead that reads: I beat and stalk women. Would you like a date anyway?
      Feel free to contact me: I had a very powerful spiritual awakening regarding Kristine and Saundra yesterday, which is the only reason I am on this blog. I am looking for other people that need healing from this and found you here.

      Like

      1. BB- I agree- the main focus of my work is to stop court ordering of these violent and sex offenders. Also I think NO ONE including someone who gets a DUI should be forced to join an organization ….against United Nations Rules and also against AA traditions. I think both AA people and ex steppers like me are on the same page with this too. We could join forces and really get that to stop.

        Thank you for your post.

        Like

    1. I used to be EXTREMELY involved with west wide AA. Did a lot of sober events, conventions,roundups,MUSICIANS’ PICNICS. I did the Marina Center Marathon Meetings for a few years.(Thanksgiving,Christmas,New Years)

      Like

  3. Kristine was a good friend. She met him at yoga. Please don’t break or mistakenly break someones anonymity regardless of your good intentions. Crazy people are everywhere. The state hospital in Hawaii let him out then didn’t supervise him. The blame lies there. Not with the yoga studio or the coffee shop or any 12 step meeting. Please stop dishonoring my dear friend’s memory. She was estranged from her ex as well as from most of her family of origin.

    Like

    1. Yoga , AA, he was going to AA because he was sent their by both mental health professionals and the courts. So sorry about your loss.
      AA estranges alot of it’s members from it’s family. AA teaches people they they are above their family that now the AA members are their family . This is complete hogwash. AA members are not my family. I have some good friends. But many are false sense of intimacy is created in AA meetings. I am no fool. She was a victim of a huge dangerous Violent Predator.
      Our Judges need to be sent to meetings themselves. They ned to send their daughters and their Granddaughters to the MArina Center and the 414 Lincoln in Venice CA> .

      Innocent civilians in NJ are being sexually harassed outside their own home. OPEN your eyes.

      http://www.orange-papers.org http://www.stinkin-thinkin.com

      I completely respect Kristine and Saundra Cass. I am fighting to make AA and NA safe. Why would anyone have a problem with that?

      Like

  4. i was good friends with kristine cass growing up although i knew her as kristine rumming she was my x-wives best friend i also know her dad abit

    Like

    1. Really? I am so sorry for your loss. She and Saundra looked like such sweet beautiful people. Although I didnt know her her death /murder had a great effect on my work trying to make AA safer.
      I was horrified by the casual response AA woman gave me when I talked of her murder. It was disgusting.

      I would really like to contact any one in her family including her ex husband. I am making a documentary. Can we talk. makeaasafer@gmail.com

      Like

    2. For the people who want the real truth I was her best friend the last few years of her life. I was one of the last people to speak to her and ahe promised she would call the police about this pest. I knew him too. He was let out of the state mental hospital and barely supervised. There is an article about him in the honolulu advertiser newspaper in September 2010. Violent Criminal past. Where she met him is not the reason she is gone. He did not belong out in the community and the state hospital let him out and barely supervised him. She did not know this. He was a liar and a manipulator. She was the kindest person I have ever met. He had a sin in his 20s who she met and liked as well as his military and honolulu symphony friends. 48 hours tried to interview me and I declined but now almost 5 years later I can talk about this horrific tragedy and appreciate this site

      Like

      1. HI- Welcome- so sad. I still think of her and her daughter often when I pray and mediate. I made this film for them and it was their death that made me say, thats enough ! I can’t be a part of this anymore and someone has to do something. Im sorry for your loss. She looked like such a sweet sweet soul. and her daughter….beyond sweet.

        I remember calling you that fall and talking. So sorry for your loss and that …she , they are gone.

        Like

      2. Hi L- There is another network doing a show…do you want to talk to them now . I never get over her story. She is in my film. She is the reason I finally left AA and for that I am eternally appreciative. I am so sorry for your loss.

        Like

  5. In my homegroup we are dealing with an issue of a mentally ill, retarded man who has violent disruptions during meetings and violated the “boundries” of many of the newcomer women with touching and “the like”, making them leave the group.

    We had a long group consciousness meeting last night to discuss the matter. Most of the members want to “protect” him, if “one of us” watches him, and controls him when he looks like he is going to become violent, and “come between him and newcomer women” is the solution (which I will not agree with). There is no way that a “babysitter” can watch him all the time.

    We decided to bring the matter to the attention of AA World Services to give us guidance and advice. We cannot “deny” a member recovery – but for the betterment of the group as a whole – something must be done. It will be interesting to find out World Services advice on the matter.

    Everybody knows that “AA” meetings can be “unsafe”. But, as the corrections systems knows (and uses AA to help with offenders of all kinds as it has done for many years) it is the “best” solution to address many problems of mental illness in the community. So AA shouldn’t be made out to be the “villain”.

    It is also advised that you don’t give you number out online – lets consider the murderer on CriagsList. It is all over the place. I love AA and will always love AA as it has no doubt saved my life.

    Like

    1. In every other club or group someone who is breaking the law would be reprimanded , after groping or
      Molesting the women, he doesn’t get to stay- throw him out.

      AA is not professional and the secretary’s are not even trained.

      Why you as a group have not called the police on him already is beyond me
      If you were in a grocery store a knitting club or the like this crap would not be tolerated
      We had a situation in Hollywood at a really good step study where a bi- polar eating disorder woman was so out of line with just her words and stares and violent outbursts that after time

      All the sane older members no longer came and the meeting is now gone.
      No one had the guts to pull her aside and tell her to cut it out or else.

      Finally the place where it was located banned her . But the meeting by then had fallen apart. Why are AA so sick, that they misconstrued the traditions and by the way they were written when no one like this would be tolerated 25 years ago.

      We are not a trash receptacle for mentally ill people.
      Enough is enough! A man’s throat was slit wide open last week. in a meeting!!!
      I’m curious how this turns out
      FYI people are leaving in droves from AA
      If good safety measures are not put in place AA will be gone sooner then you think.

      There are alternatives yo AA now, and good ones I might add, like Smart Recovery, LifeRing,SOS, WOmen For Sobriety, and harm reduction is growing
      AA arrogance is taking a strangle hold on itself,
      Keep Me informed on your progress.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s