AA Bully’s…What are they? Have you ever met one?

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18 thoughts on “AA Bully’s…What are they? Have you ever met one?

  1. I was and am still a target for AA bullies.
    I have sued a longstanding member in small claims court.
    And Won.
    I have sued an intergroup, for offending the principle of MY anonymity.
    And it ruled in my favour.
    I am constantly challenged and ostracized by I I individual members. I have resorted often to outside help and sponsorship , to avoid abandoning the AA fellowship, but maintain attending and being supportive to others who were and are like me. Recovering from a disease of perception and isolation, is not easy.
    Abstaining from alcohol and other abusive behaviours, I owe to this 12 step program.
    While they target practice on me , I hope someone is free to find what was so freely given to me.
    Gratitude and is an action, my house is built of the bricks from the foundation. Bullies and huff and puff … I ain’t leaving and they can’t make me, yet?! Lol
    I have a few great friends and we have found each other. I hope you don’t let the bullies deny you the promises.

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  2. I was and am still a target for AA bullies.
    I have sued a longstanding member in small claims court.
    And Won.
    I have sued an intergroup, for offending the principle of MY anonymity.
    And it ruled in my favour.
    I am constantly challenged and ostracized by I I individual members. I have resorted often to outside help and sponsorship , to avoid abandoning the AA fellowship, but maintain attending and being supportive to others who were and are like me. Recovering from a disease of perception and isolation, is not easy.
    Abstaining from alcohol and other abusive behaviours, I owe to this 12 step program.
    While they target practice on me , I hope someone is free to find what was so freely given to me.
    Gratitude and is an action, my house is built of the bricks from the foundation. Bullies and huff and puff … I ain’t leaving and they can’t make me, yet?! Lol
    I have a few glitches or friends and we have found each other. I hope you don’t let the bullies deny you the promises.

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      1. Lol
        I guess I don’t need 2 posts.
        A few typos.
        I’m good, today, thanks for your concern and thanks an opportunity to identify:)
        Bullies are everywhere, let’s continue to acknowledge a less then perfect world, that we try to accept 🙂

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  3. My “wanna be” sponsor “mary helen” got to the point of going around the room, calling us by name to force us to talk, admitting that when SHE first started she would NEVER talk, clearly of a personality type that had someone tried to force her to talk as she did us, SHE would NEVER have come back! NOT A POSITIVE!!!!

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  4. I am much happier having left that dysfunction. I have my self respect and life is better. Glad I found this page. I’m looking forward to meeting real friends

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      1. He was nuts! He was more controlling and less of a friend towards the time I left aa. Now I will pull other people from this dangerous cult!

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  5. My sponsor was very controlling and abusive. He would always talk down to me and was always saying I was no good. He always made my life hell. Finally I had enough and left aa forever

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      1. He would say look at ur part in it and say See what a major screwup you are? He has stalked me even said things to the point where I was suicidal He lied alot to me. The final thing he said before I left aa was re evaluate.your life or better yet end it. Certainly he was a control freak

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      2. In relocating from the west to the southeast (USA), I’ve only found AA meetings here (after decades of sobriety and casual AA involvement there) with bullying fundamentalist Christian “leadership” governed by non-rotating cliques. Really creepy. Thought it might be a good way to find folks who don’t drink for socialization in a new city, and I did find a couple of potential friends. But in the main, I have never seen such sick, controlling, mobbing, deceptive, hateful, hypocritical people as the “old guard” (with my same decades of sobriety) in this medium-sized SE city. They are so sick they don’t even know what healthy looks like, and they await the vulnerable newcomers each week to pounce on them like sponsoring vultures — and new people are so warped by the bibliolatry of the prevailing culture here, they let themselves be prey of these predators. The phony niceness and the hostility behind the masks of these AA predators are ugly, ugly, ugly. My part? Being in the room with them, taking phone calls from them, thinking it couldn’t be as bad as all that. It is! I wish them failure and disintegration as AA groups because the world will be a better place without their meetings or their clubs of oppression.

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      3. Hi and Welcome !- What strange behavior. I live in the Southern Cali, where some of the worst stuff is going on; LA is filled with alternative cults. ..but there are some good small mixed womens and mens meetings. Still the 1930’s jargon took it’s toll on me and I left in 2011. Free and happy to be gone.

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  6. Yes. I have been severely damaged by many members. I am tired of hearing “We don’t care what you think or say” “Go to a meeting everyday” “You are self centered” “Look at your part” “you will drink again if you don’t go to meetings”, “Dog is God spelled backwards” “If you are not happy then you are not working your program” “Who is your sponsor?” “What does your sponsor say about that” “What meds do you take?” “How many meetings a week are you going to?” “I promise your life will be great if you work the steps.” “God is the answer to all your problems” “Pray about it” “Call other women in the program (they don’t call back)”, “Sounds like you are the one who has the problem you need to go home and read page 62 and 63”
    They reach out their hand in the beginning but then the rhetoric starts and it gets horrific. I have been doing this for over three years. I have never been to a church that is so severe and punishing. The fear factor is sick and the positive energy is bad for my health.
    I am not saying it did not help me in the start but when I learned that fellowship is politics I was astounded. I looked around and realized the old timers were actually separate and practically some of them enemies. I have talked to my therapist and it is time to go. It is good in the beginning but is not to be a forever deal like they say it is.

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    1. mary-I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you by AA members. I really agree with all that you are saying. Have you checked out http://www.stinkin-thinkin.com and follow the thread “Why I left AA” you will see you are not alone.

      Yes yes to all of the mental & emotional abuse. I may start an ex-stepper safe recovery support group. Your not alone. There are thousands of people who feel like you.
      Hope to see you over at Stinkin-thinkin. It’s a blog that has a lot of conversation back and forth and many AA members leaving the program.
      What city are you in?

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    2. Mary, this is just horrible. I am sorry I did not reply till now. I had to go out of town!

      I know how crazy these people can be with their stupid rhetoric! have you checked out Stinkin-thinkin.com follow the thread Why I left AA. There are many who feel like you do. You are not alone.

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