Are You Being Sexually Harassed in AA/NA Meetings? What Can You do?

First question I have is …are you new to AA. If yes, ask other members for support when older members are hitting on you. If the other members make light of it, please, please find another meeting, perhaps a woman’s meeting and or try alternatives like Smart Recovery or SOS or Woman for Sobriety meetings. They have strict sexual harassment policies.

Scenario #1 Attractive charismatic overly friendly male wants to have coffee with you, asks you lots of personal questions, asks you if you need a ride and or offers to be your sponsor.

I know we can be lonley when we first get sober. But AA is now filled with low level and high risk Predators.

Low Level meaning maybe he is not a criminal or sex offender but he has spent years in AA getting free easy sex from vulnerable new woman (and some men) . There is a female cougar type population in AA as well where sexy mid 40-50 year old AA woman with 2 decades of sobriety also prey on new young handsome men in their 20’s. So guys beware as well.

We recommend saying “NO” to all of the above, walk away from him. Trust your instincts and know that your instincts will improve after a few months. With some of us it can take longer like a year or so to really get in touch with trusting your instincts fully.

And on this point, do not believe what many will tell you that you can’t trust yourself. We are grown adults functioning in society  and over and over this is one of the biggest complaints we hear on the blogs…how individuals are incouraged to not only turn their will and their lives over to the care of God, but to listen to a Sponsor”

So we ask…who and what is a sponsor?

As someone who was in AA for 36 year who had many longterm sponsors I say to you now. This is something that barely existed in Hawaii in 1975. A sponsor did not run your life. This form is one of the most insane parts of the what has become the “AA cult”.

The Gay population has a serious undressed problem with this as well.

What is Sexual Battery? It is any unwanted touching in an inappropriate place.

What is sexual harassment? This is lewd sexual comments, unwanted flirting, the constant asking you out when you say no. Asking for hugs and pulling you close in. Wanting to kiss you on the lips when you don’t even know him.

Battery is something we all need to start calling the police right when it happens in the meeting. Dial 911 get the mans full name first and call the police.

Next call the local AA Central Office and file a written complaint.

Next call your AA area chair, and your local AA Delegate and file a written compliant.

Then CALL and email NY General Service Office with lots of highly paid employess and file a written and verbal complaint.

AA all over the country is filled with level 3 sex-offenders and violent criminals as part of their parole.


3 thoughts on “Are You Being Sexually Harassed in AA/NA Meetings? What Can You do?

  1. As you know from my email to Stanton Peele, I have either witnessed or been privy to knowledge of this type of behavior for the last 10 years.

    I got sober when I was 30, and attended mostly young people’s meetings, because I felt very young at the time. Once I got a year under my belt, I started sponsoring young women, some of them as young as 15. I feel these are the most vulnerable of the AA population, and nothing is being done about it. All of the YP committees know about the sexual acting out at their events, conferences, roundups, and campouts, but they do nothing to stop it. I tried to affect change by taking a post on one YP committee, and was ostracized.

    I have witnessed or have been privy to first-hand knowledge (by victims) of: domestic violence, sexual violence including rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, and unplanned pregnancy in a girl’s first year of sobriety.

    Thank you so much for this blog. I had no idea that there were so many people out there who were so vocal on this issue. No one in AA wants to deal with it in a meeting or business meeting. Women, if they want to be safe, just have to leave AA. So much for the 3rd tradition.


    1. HI ML ,
      This is just a tragic post and as you can see I have been working my ass off to change things. as you have found out yourself. AA at every level refuses to deal with it. I know about 65 groups that are using the green Pamphlet , However the young pp’s group are just as resistant or can be.
      SO I could really use your help.
      {PLease write to me directly) not on this public blog so I can tell you what we are doing to address this criminal behavior. This is a huge problem.


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