Have You been Sexually Harassed , Assaulted or financially scammed by an Alcoholics Anonymous member?

THE LIES AA MEMBERS TELL NEW COMERS…

no sexual harassment ring  pic

 


No victim is at fault when they are harmed. We 
are here to help you. You are not alone. You have no part in it.

 

 

Please speak up and tell them that “yes, it’s an inside issue.

Call the rape crisis center if you are raped by an AA member right away.

Contact us at makeaasafer@gmail.com if you need help.

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25 thoughts on “Have You been Sexually Harassed , Assaulted or financially scammed by an Alcoholics Anonymous member?

  1. Hi Sunkist123. Where is the info on your book? I went ahead and ordered it and received recently. It gets right to the point about AA and NA ! So far so good. It will take me awhile to read it all as I am super busy, but I really like it so far. Thanks for writing it!

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  2. Addiction in Society
    Addiction—the thematic malady for our society—entails every type of psychological and societal problem
    by Stanton Peele, Ph.D., J.D.
    When AA Hurts
    A woman suffered abuse at home, from a rapist, and in AA—all were related
    Published on April 23, 2014 by Stanton Peele in Addiction in Society

    (This is a guest column from Juliet Abram)

    This is my personal story of being abused, first by my mother, then by a rapist-“boyfriend,” and then by AA. Each form of abuse predisposed me to be a victim of the other, and I had to escape all of them.

    I learned in therapy that my low-self esteem and vulnerability left me open to being hurt. I got these feelings at home, from my mother. Then other abusers found me. Abusers like easy targets, such as people who are starved for love or attention or who fear being abandoned. I also used alcohol to tamp down my feelings of shame and disgust from being emotionally, physically, and sexually abused.

    Then, I went to Alcoholics Anonymous, where I really suffered abuse. I was sentenced to AA after escaping a guy who raped me, refused to let me go free, and made me steal for him. I either went to AA, or I’d be thrown in jail. But AA only made me remember his death threats and heightened my helplessness and despair. One woman explained to me that you had to expect to be raped when you’re drunk. I needed to accept my “part in it.” If I ever criticized AA, I was being an “AA Basher.”

    Complete Article at- Please read click on link below-

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addiction-in-society/201404/when-aa-hurts

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  3. ANTI D- I agree. They have the same problems as AA. They are just smaller and a bit less arrogant. I mean NAWS compared to AAWS Headquarters. I would love to talk to them again now that the years have passed since we first called them to file complaints.

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  4. So grateful to find all of you. My work is letting me spend time meeting and hearing the stories of women who have been harmed by AA. Shame, loss of personal power and honor are part of every meeting story I hear. The 13th step/abuse issue comes up in over half of my conversations after we settle into conversation (online or in person). I work with Margaret Gold who has just brought out a Kindle only non-step book on evaluating your own alcohol use with research and a sense of your own power. It’s a small start but one we’re hoping will reach more people who browse alcohol related topics and find almost nothing that doesn’t recommend AA. Lose The booze is the title. We are also working on a women’s self defense in sobriety book. Feel free to reply if you might like a copy or to contribute your voice.

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  5. hi Sunkist`123 I am not sure what you mean here. Can you further explain…
    NA is a bit better then AA in only some ways.

    AA in the mid 2000 voted to no longer have the upside down triangle removed and say the group runs NA. They know that NAWS runs NA. Not the group. They are light years ahead of AA in this concern.

    They voted to not end the meeting with the Lords Prayer or any prayer. They say a statement. They do not hold hands. They put the arms around each others shoulders. Big deal …I Like they don’t pray. Their Main book was written in 1981 I think not 1935 , so its more updated and they recently wrote a new book as to why they can’t keep long time older members anymore.

    I heard this account from a long time NA board member. ..A woman called the NA hotline. The guy who answered the hotline went over to her house and RAPED HER!!!

    The NA Board and The NA employees made a decision to find out how to change things.

    When we called NAWS they took our call, talked to me and were sincerely concerned. They didn’t talk to us like we were idiots. They took us serious and seemed to really care.

    AA on the other hand won’t even talk to me. Phyllis Haliday thinks she is untouchable….she is not. AA is not above the law. AA is not above reproach or above the Catholic Church.

    Please file reports and complain to AA, NA , CA at every level…go to the police, hire a lawyer and sue civilly if you have ben scammed for money by any 12 step member. They are getting away with murder.

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  6. If I can add: a difficulty I’ve had with these sites is the focus on one 12-step program with little said about the others; but the small amount of history I’ve read stated NA & others all came from AA. So with that in mind, here’s a c/p quote from a reply I received from the NA WSO when I brought the topic to their attention a long time ago:

    If there are crimes being committed, the proper place to address that matter would be with the appropriate legal authorities.

    They made no mention whatsoever about keeping issues within the program, anonymity, etc., so I’m wondering if it’s something screwballs in the programs dreamed up to cover their own butts.

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    1. Hi Sunkist. NA is not much different from AA. They say one thing but do another. My experience with NA was horrible. NAWS yes said go to the police. That did not help us. NAWS and NA regional only protected everyone and the local police protected the NA members in Daytona and gave us no protection and no relief.

      Both AA and NA cover up crimes. It is part of their culture. What is said and done are two completely different things. Any other organization you would call up with complaints of threats etc would get involved. Not just say go to the police end of story. NA does nothing either about crime and they too say every group is autonomous.

      As far as I can tell they still say the group runs the show. That is why they say they cannot do anything. Many do hold hands in NA too.

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      1. anti d – I agree. Although NA did address the sexually predatory behavior after a woman was raped when she called the hotline. Oh how I would love to interview her!

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      2. Massive I see no evidence that NA has changed anything. Maybe in the case you are talking about. The reality is both AA and NA can do something when they so choose. Just because they might choose to 1 out of a million means really nothing to me. NA members harassed and threatened peoples lives, threatened to shoot up a store, and NA locally and NAWS did NOTHING. NAWS said there was NOTHING they could or would do. I think you are giving them way too much credit. NA has problems with people packing guns and selling drugs too at meetings, and NAWS does nothing. It is still all up to the group.

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  7. cher-Your personal safety and personal well being supersedes any of the traditions or steps or literature that is associated with AA and anyone who tells you other wise is a ****. Perhaps a sexual predator?

    AA and it’s members are not above the law. You can say whatever you want. AA is a platform for free speech right. ANY group can write literature. I was told this by General Service Manager Greg Muth who ran NYGSO for 10 years. AA and every group is autonomous right….tell them that. Then rewrite what we have or use it to read before your meeting. Tell them that AA jargon does not supersede your rights as women. ( Gays are also a very vulnernable population as well ) The group is at the top of the triangle so the group runs AA right? We wrote this literature, ( well I wrote it then Kali helped, then 3 other women contributed too, then it was vetted over many months and I had the input of some 50 AA members over the months, along with our entire home group gave us their two cents and we wrote it and we approved it to use by our GROUP 100%, Not one woman voted no.

    Also If you are in the Central office and are being sexually harassed while in that office, thats’ a civil lawsuit. That is considered a WORKPLACE and that is against the law. FYI. If you need to speak to an attorney I know one. They CAN NOT sexually harass women in the work place even if it is doing volunteer work. AA is a nonprofit and has to follow all the legal guidelines everyone else has to Like the Catholic Church. 🙂

    AA is not above the law. You have my support. Here is a link to the pamphlets. I have earlier versions that were on postcards that are also very nice and more laid back . But the Green one we wrote and approved by my old home group in 2010. I will send you the pdf to your email.

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  8. you would not believe the sexual harassment going on in Utah County- our central office is the worst! It has got to stop- we are not going to put up with the good ol boys club anymore where jokes are litterally made about the women effected by our local AA. members… There is a small group of us making this known and we are not popular! please send PDF about what we can OFFICIALLY say about safety before a meeting- I am sure that if I try to use it there will be opposition that’s is not AA approved, how do I get around that. is it AA approved?

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  9. Massive, chatting with NADaytona on FB & trying to track down a LeavingAA pamphlet (comprehensive) one that was being worked on… Working on collecting every a/s/l of every case or report or arrest from AA members involved in every abuse, scam, scheme, rape, child molestation, assault, murder, etc… A picture’s worth a 1,000 words they say… See all those dots look like a 4G network from Sprint would be great to see, sad of course, but it’s a project I’ll be working on.

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      1. Awesome, I’m going to take some time this week to work on my new blog & begin listing incidents by location and age and gender of victims… I was curious how the Violence Against Women act and other laws apply to AA that they are violating (if any) federal guidelines/ state guidelines? Do you know anything about that?

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      2. Just need links to pages that have the stories, NA Daytona’s site seems to have a lot of news reports and that’s my starting point; that and orange papers might have a great chunk of material… Just making a list by state/ incident and then going to make the map.

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  10. I entered AA in 1986. My ex husband introduced me to his sponsor, an oldtimer with 15 years clean time and told the sponsor I didn’t have a sponsor yet. So his sponsor told me to call anytime so I did. This guy told me I needed a hug so he hugged me but he would not let go and started over taking me and touching my body in disrespectful ways and trying to kiss me. Being a sexual abuse victim I had no body boundaries at all, I was like a little girl even though I was 31 years old. This really grossed me out! I told my ex what happened and he fired this sponsor. Later when I saw this man in a meeting he told me my ex was jealous of what this guy and I had…we never had anything believe me!
    Over the years I had been hugged inappropriately at meeting places many, times.

    In 1987, I went to a regular treatment meeting run by a couple who ran a halfway house in a Nevada city.. They were from Santa Monica and had a lot of the behaviors of those who were involved in Synanon. In this meeting people were not allowed to merely shake hands, they were to hug only. I saw single men in these meetings with a “harem” of young females sitting around them which unnerved me at the time and still does when I think about it. Synanon techniques were very strong around the time I first got clean and was attending 12 step groups. This couple did a lot of inappropriate behaviors while running the halfway house for men and eventually were run out of town.

    AA’s answer to protection is saying “stick with the women” well believe me they will stand by and watch what happens, everyone does. Telling someone else is of no use as they will instruct you on reading a chapter over and over again or blame the victim. I came from a very dysfunctional home with a lot of abuse, a perfect “set up” for AA. It has taken me most of my adult life to recover from the affects of my upbringing. Abuse was normal.

    In my very early clean time a guy with 7 years ripped me off of my Honda Civic in 1986, his sponsor stepped in and in return I got his beatup pickup. Later I found out he ripped off another newcomer of a travel trailer. I will admit saying “No” was something I had to learn but these members seek out victims like me. I was once told by a male member that I stick out like a sore thumb as if I have a neon sign on my forehead, scary to say the least.

    In my first 5 years of clean time I was hand fondled while holding hands in the Lord’s Prayer, grabbed while walking by a male which got pissed when i pulled my hand away in which he retorted, “oh you come in here a slut and then pretend to be a virgin”. Nobody ever suggested calling the law.

    I left 12 step finally in 2008 after a lot of personal counseling and 22 years of clean time. I will never go back.

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    1. Rebecca- WOW …WOW I am blown away by your post. Well written and telling it just the way it is. Can I ask you something…did you blog on Stinnkin thinkin during 2009 and 2010 when it was very busy?

      How did you deprogram or did you just see it all a sham and leave. Good for you! Its so sickening what goes on. I created tho site when I was still in AA and trying to make it safer. I left in May 2011. I am so glad I left. I have been making a film called The 13th Step the film. you can see a trailer here that is 7.5 min long I have other ones on youtube that are longer and tell more about what I did , what we did, how we outed an dgot a rapist arressted and why and how I left. http://the13thstepfilm.wordpress.com

      I am so sorry to hear what you had to go through. AA is a breading ground for this and it has gotten so much worse since many good people have left and courts dump sex and violent offenders there instead of putting them in jail. I hope you blog here and I am glad you are free. I created another blog called http://www.leavingaa.com I hope you continue to blog and if you care to speak to a National Reporter or me about your harassment let me know @ makeaasafer@gmail.com

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      1. Hello Massive, I have blogged before as “Azalea” in leavingaa.com a couple years ago. Thank you for the support on my post here. Wonderful to have a safe place to tell my story and read other’s stories, so good to be heard and validated not shamed. I support all of your efforts, thank you for being our voice.

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    2. My personal deprogramming started in 1988 when I started going to coda personal counseling based around John Bradshaw’s work, of course early on I learned not to bring up coda in Alanon or AA unless I wanted to be publically shamed for bringing in outside issues.
      ,
      It was around this time I had gotten another sponsor, she had me call her everyday to report in or to feed her ego, of course she never called me back. At the local AA conference she saw me after I stopped calling her. She called me over to her and said “let me see your hands”, even though I felt creepy about giving her my hands I did and she said, “I don’t see any broken fingers, why haven’t you called me?” Oh man, this really went against what I was learning in coda counseling, boundary violation big time.

      My 12 step experience was not jiving with the boundary setting I was learning in counseling. I never did feel the love in the rooms from women or men. The God concept never set right with me either. I started missing more and more meetings and at 10 years I did not go for about 3 months. I was going through a lot of troubles in my AA marriage as he did admit he was a sex addict and he had been in trouble a few times already. We had moved to another state, I felt like I was going to drink so I found another sponsor and started being the secretary for the Friday Night meeting. This sponsor had never done the steps so it was not a requirement. I had done the steps with various sponsors and on my own and while I sponsored others many times, I knew the Big Book well.

      In 1990, I got a phone call at home. I answered. The person on the other side of the line said hi and called me by name. He wanted me to guess who he was, I gave some guesses, no he said. I knew his voice sounded familiar but I could not place him. Finally he asked me what color panties I had on. I then hung up. I figured out who’s voice it was, it was the local AA DM from district 2, he was yet another “big fish in a little pond”. When I saw him at the AA conference a few months later he snubbed me big time after I showed him my badge to get in. How did he get my number and know me by name? Well, yes I always signed the tablet which was passed around the meeting rooms with my name and phone book, they said it was “for the newcomer”.

      I divorced my AA husband in 2002 while he was in prison for yet another crime he committed. in the year 2003, I started Inner child counseling and working on my sexual abuse issues, after yet another devastating AA relationship ended.

      In 2007 I started having S-Anon meetings at my house once a month with a sponsor I found in a yahoo group. I had read Pia Mellody’s book.

      I left AA in 2008.

      In 2009 a sober friend of mine told me about The Orange Papers, I read about Bill Wilson’s many affairs. And much more, I heard the 12 step vault door close with a deep clunk. I did have to go through a grieving process.

      Since 2010 my friend and I have been living together and blogging on anti 12 step blogs. We both promote your efforts.

      I know why I had to be in AA and 12 step for so long, so I can tell others, “What it was like, what happened and what it’s like now”, it’s my story and I am sticking to it.

      My recovery from 12 step has been progressive, thank the universe.

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