Troll AA Members trying to crack the safety code….

two_cats in sink

Recently I have had some AA members showing up here like they own this place. Its interesting to me that the arrogance level on their part is  so…childish and belittling.

Can they not see and read this is a site for those harmed by 13 stepping while in AA and are looking for answers to this type of predation?

I guess not.

They think that only they know the path to life ether in AA or not. ..

So…this is for those who are harmed and those who need or want a safe place to blog.

No trolling is tolerated here.


29 thoughts on “Troll AA Members trying to crack the safety code….

  1. Thanks for your story. I’ve also been raped in AA- by three men that I was in relationships with. I was vulnerable when I came into AA in 2005 due to a previous sexual assault. All three of these men knew me for at least a year before they started dating me and knew that I had been sexually assaulted. I didn’t start talking about the sexual assaults until years later (2015, the first assault was in 2007) and have found a lack of support in AA. I have even lost friends starting in 2015 and a sponsor when I started to really talk about rape in AA this last spring. I haven’t been able to find a new sponsor who is understanding of what I’ve been through. When I have talked about my history of abusive relationships, rape in AA at meetings I have gotten openly shamed in meetings during people’s shares. I currently don’t go to many meetings and do prayer and meditation at home. I’m really sorry that this happened to you- I have realized now that AA is not as safe of a place as I once thought it was, both physically and emotionally speaking.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nothing against Christians, didn’t mean to come across that way as I have friends who believe like that. I simply refuse to get involved sexually with female Christians due to guilt trips over sex, guilt trips over my mantra chanting, guilt trips over the video games I play (grand theft auto for instance) or R rated movies I love (Alien), etc etc. Drama, not that they are all like that, but the really dedicated ones like my friend I mentioned. No offense intended if anyone took offense to me saying that in the last post.


  3. I still go to one meeting per week which is my home group, very small healthy group but I am within the next year on my way out. I am not part of the AA clique, but have friends that I would be friends with had we never met in AA. I will miss our little meeting. I thank you for your work and just so you will know, I feel you are making a difference because at our last district meeting safety in meetings (mostly for women due to predators) was addressed. I am the district secretary, people are nice to me, but I am an outsider. I have been bullied before, but now no one can because the time bullies know I will make a spectacle of doing the opposite of what they demand of me while doing the work, demand I get a sponsor, I openly refuse and encourage people to fire their sponsor. Demand I put fourth step in columns, openly do it in paragraph form with different color ink than they authorize me to, shoving it in their face. Skip the meeting they demand I go to to stay home and play playstation, then announce my clean time at every meeting, the longer I stay sober the more I prove they lied. I have even pulled female newcomers to the side and pointed out predators by name to them. If I see someone breaking the law, I gleefully violate their anonymity. I have violated the ultimate taboo in AA, me a straight male sponsoring an attractive female newcomer as she didn’t trust other guys around here, we knew the same people back in the day yet had no dealings back then. She told me of bullying she dealt with and I showed her by the literature how full of shit those people were. We went our seperate ways as I encouraged her to get a female sponsor, not that I didn’t trust myself as I hate those time bullies who treated me the same way as her, I felt there were things she could be open about with a female that she shouldn’t be open about with me. She also had a problem with my beliefs as I am not Christian. I mostly was willing to do this as they wouldn’t like it, just to prove them wrong (and I truly didn’t want to see her get hurt, nothing was going to happen because she would have tried to turn me Christian, never going to happen, I don’t date or sleep with Christians, been there done that). Just keep up the good work, eventually I will be free! Can’t wait.


  4. It is nice to find this site. A week ago I left AA after attending for approx. 3 months. I lost my husband a year ago, my mother, one month ago. I’m new to the state I reside and have very little support.

    An older gentleman took me under his wing, he has double digit sobriety. I really thought, as the group knew my circumstances, he was trying to be just a nice person and get me out of my isolation. After going on a few walks and being in his company, it became very apparent that he wasn’t kind. He started to minimize me, laugh at things I said, talk about – and share – very personal information about other members.

    When he took an alternate route on our hike, which I questioned him on (as that part of the hill was sliding), it became apparent that he wanted to be “a knight in shining armor” asking to hold my hand to “guide” me down. I declined, which made him moody and mad.

    I feel so much shame, I’m sad, I’m still lonely but, I’m not going back. I havent heard from any of my female “friends” from the group except one. She is my hairdresser. She said same thing happened to her a year ago with this gentleman. He was nice and then turned cold and hurtful when she declined a dinner date after her one year of sobriety was completed. The kicker…she is thinking of making an amends to him for her resentment towards him.

    I will get over this. It is such a shame that there are such deceptive people , especially with a person who is so vulnerable – and with a program that has been put in place to help.

    Thank you for listening.


    1. HI Martha and welcome ! I am very sorry to hear this by this is very common. So sad. I will write more later. Gotta make dinner ; B egad you got out of AA quickly…


  5. Sorry to reply to myself, but DON’T give up on prayer and asking God for help. AAS doesn’t own Our Lord and even the vile blasphemy they spew (and I’ve heard similar phrases from Anglican, Roman Catholic, Lutheran and Jewish clergy person), God is NOT powerless over ANYTHING. My Mom had a stroke 14 days ago. As a psychiatrist, I know quite a bit about neurology, but I found too much sloppiness. For example, a Resident was armed with a syringe loaded with 10mg of the antipsychotic Haldol ordered for my Mom. I order that dose for patients climbing the walls in the Psych ER — and, yes, I back it up with IM Valium or Ativan. The order didn’t include a vital adjunct drug, Cogent, which prevents Haldol from causing unbelievable side effects — you wouldn’t believe me if KI mentioned them! I told him to get the Hell over here and yes, thetaMedicine and told them to get their asses at the nearly Nursing Station ASAP or they’ll her paying 10K retainers to keep their damned licenses. I’ve never said, “Don’t you know WHO I am?” until that day. I told the whole group that I’m better educated, attended better schools, have a REAL PhD in Pharmacology and when I want comments and questions, I’ll ask for them. I question the doc who wrote the order. I told the Chief of Staff that I’ll make sure he NEVER practices again and I defined discipline as removal from the admin/supervisory post and reversion to Staff Physician. Later, I heard they whispered about my connections and ing,hence as well as my excellent rep with the pillars of our medical community; the papers I’ve delivered, awards, etc. I told the Chief of Staff to grant me Visiting Privileges right then and there. My vitae and licenses are on one of our websites and they can check online if necessary. He did. I then took Mom’s chart and wrote: “Drug Naive + CNS Augmenter” consult with Dr Joe before administering any such meds unless there is a medical emergency. I don’t like to b e a bully, but my Mom and Dad did al they could to give me a good home, didn’t freak when I came out to them and enabled me to get an excellent education. (Fellowships, National Merit Scholarships helped, too!) I was told that my eyes flared RED when I said that if anything preventable happens to my Mom, I will hold each and every one of them personally responsible. I told the Residents to speak up; if their Chiefs didn’t like it, tell them to take it up with me.

    Still, the clinical picture was bleak. My idiot cardiologist bro, who was REJECTED from 120 medical schools was talking about a Nursing Home after Rehab and that is how my Mom’s life would end. I told him that my IQ is cleat two Standard Deviations higher than his (based on the gold standard intelligence test, the WAIS) and I not only had a REAL (not tack on to the MD from the same university) PhD and was a much better researchers. Later, I told myself that I had to ACCEPT God’s will, whatever the outcome, but God helps those who help themselves. I woke up former classmates at 3 a.m. (I always did lots of favors “because that’s what Wonder Woman would do, not in hopes of having them repaid), TOLD the Chief of Staff that I wanted to be able to connect remotely to ALL their journals and databases and that two of my former UNDERGRAD students, both IT studs, told me it was possible. He did as he was told. Before starting serious work, I needed sleep…but more than that, I needed to pray to The Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven, Mediatrix of All Graces, Mother of Our Lord Jesus Christ and, coincidentally Terror of Demons. My Mom and her friend prayed to the BVM all the time and so did I. I never remembered the whole Rosary (without cheating) until that night. I hadn’t taken any meds and just fell asleep. The next midmorning, my sister called,excitedly to let me know that Mom had started to speak aead of schedule. Nursing home forever — no f—–g way. My cardiologist bro and I have PLENTY of money even if he doesn’t have the balls to spend his own cash because his unspeakable wife might find out and my BUSINESSMAN bro doesn’t have quite as much, but that’s only if you consider $150K on deposit plus the business as “not as much”. I said a prayer of Thanksgiving to Our Lord, Jesus Christ, to God there Father & God the Holy Spirit and to Mother Mary who intecedesc with Her Divine Son when she finds merit in a petition.


  6. Adrianna. Thank you for sharing an Amazing and at the same time Horrific story, of fear and betrayal. Wow, your stated that your Sponsor at the time, told you he was safe and could be trusted? Really? Then she was upset with you for not sharing with her, right away? This is after you shared your experience, she then told you how he tried the same with her? She pulled the old one upper on you, with at the same time pointing a shame blame game on you? Wow, she might just be as sick as he is. Hey it takes courage to come forward and talk about this, I applaud you. This just may Help others out there who have already placed way to much shame on them selves, and kept a secret about it. I have been Sober for 28 years, and know for a fact that these things happen. I have sponsored many women in the program, and number 1 rule no dating for 1 year, and I have no hesitation at letting them go, if in fact, they break that rule.. I am serious about my recovery, and have had Great Sponsorship through my recovering years. I am so supporting this 13 step movement. You just keep, recovering, keep praying, keep telling people, when these things happen, and remember, that God has a plan for you, plans not to harm you, but to in fact build you in strength, so that you can Help the next person, that may have to encounter this horrible treatment, by some-one they have every right to think that they SHOULD be able to TRUST.. Monsters are every where. We would not hesitate to report such a Monster, if it had happened any other place. It is time to rid the AA program of such People, and I am so ready to Help make that Happen. Shirley V. Spring Lake, Michigan.


    1. No question that this IS Rape, probably 1st degree Rape since you were in fear of your life. Actual violence is not a requirement to sustain the charge. We call it Rape 1 in my state and I know that charge very well, These cultists can sell preachers to in Hell, divinesunshine123. In the time I was “captive” my parents didn’t know what to do with me back in the mid-70s and AA/NA has a propaganda machine easily the equal of that created by the Nazi propaganda machine. Initially, couldn’t recall the correct spelling of the surname of Der Fuhrer’s Minister of Propaganda, Herr Doctor Josef Goebbels. He was awesome and ruthless when it came to lack of full faith in that lunatic Thousand-Year Reich…very similar to AA, but all those funders together weren’t the “God” Doktor’s intellectual equals.


  7. My Story:
    I for one am looking forward to 2015. I’m not sure where the courage has come from for me to write this letter to you, but I feel it is so very important that I share my story and do my part to “talk about RAPE”, my rape in AA.
    The day before Thanksgiving 2014, I was raped, 39 days ago. I have been in AA for close to 10 years and have been clean and sober almost 7 years. My program is my safe haven I am filled with deep gratitude for all that has been freely given to me and I give back as much as I can. My rapist is a man AA in my small community of Palm Springs CA and has 28 (!!) years sober. We call people with lots of time the “elders” and they are the ones we look up to and admire and trust. I am 45 years old. He is 69 years old. (I later found out he injects himself with steroids in he’s arms..yuck!) NOT SOBER
    I accepted his “friendly, non romantic invitation to a bicycle ride, the day before thanksgiving. I had only met him briefly at an AA BBQ hosted by my previous sponsor, a woman I trust with my life..or did. I asked her if it was safe to give this man my phone number, as he was interested in helping me with my on-line business. I was told he was fine and safe and has 28 years sober. I gave him my number based on that advice.

    After the bike ride (his bikes at his house), we returned to his home where we went inside and has some water and he began making a waffle. He then picked me up off his recliner and began rubbing my shoulders claiming they were tense for the ride. He proceeded to walk behind me, “directing” me into his bedroom. I walked slowly, but I went on my own accord, having no idea he would rape me.
    Once in his room he immediately began grabbing at my top, pulling and tearing. I said NO. He said, “Something’s gotta come off” and began pulling at my shorts. I kept my legs closed and he then jumped on top of me and while there began trying to pull my breast out from the top of my shirt, putting his mouth all over my breast. I again said “STOP, I don’t want you to do this”. He then tried to get into my shorts by lying on top of me, suffocating me and holding me down, while his hand tried to get in my shorts. I kept him out and that made him upset. I kept saying, NO, STOP” but he was on top of me and I just froze up inside. He then got off me partially and pulled my shorts and panties to one side and painfully shoved his finger inside of me. I began to sob. I was totally numbed out and paralyzed emotionally. He then got off me and performed oral sex on me for about 2 seconds until I loudly with intent, said “NO STOP, Please!” But I didn’t run or kick him or fight for myself. I just froze up and kept my eyes closed. He then had his shorts off and started loudly saying, “look at me! Look at me..Don’t you want to see what you are missing? I was crying and sobbing. He was angry because I wouldn’t look at him. At that point he shoved his penis inside me and it really hurt. I screamed STOP..I guess loudly enough that he took me seriously, but not before he got at least 2 hard thrusts inside me. He then said, “You know what safe sex is? A condom and a good lawyer”. I had no idea what he was talking about. When it was over he was totally unaffected my tears and the entire act. I got up and got dressed, still totally numb, feeling like I was in some weird dream. I sat down and ate half a waffle, not wanting to exhibit fear. He told me not to tell anyone, especially m AA Sponsor.
    I left, got into my car and locked the doors began sobbing and called my old sponsor and went right to her house. She is older and almost in her 70’s. She helped me immensely and I believe was giving me her best advice, but it was bad advice. She told me not to tell anyone, not the police, not my current sponsor or anyone else because would be a “he said-She said” and that I would get a bad reputation in our recovery community and the process would be to traumatizing. She also told me that because I was “pretty” that many of the other women would be happy that I was raped. I know this is false, but it hurt to hear that. I was in total shock and it sounded like a good plan to me because I was numb and I was afraid. For, I was not really in my body to make right decisions or to think clearly for myself. Knowing what I know now I would have called the police right then and there, but I was utterly ashamed and terribly confused and totally numb. Total shock.
    After a few hours over there I drove home and looked up the rape crisis center and took off all my clothes and put them in a sealed paper bag, as future evidence, should I need it. Then I hit the shower and bath and just laid there numb staring at the ceiling, thinking, how could this have just happened to me? I’m a 45 year old smart woman! I have Bachelors of Science in Women Studies for God’s sake!

    I began the shame, blame game in my head. I totally fell apart. I called the crisis line and made an apt for the next Monday to talk with the advocate. She was amazing and I see her now once a week. I also entered in to ta group for women survivors of sexual abuse. We meet once a week and so far it has been alright. I then for a whole month went through what many rape/ sexual assault survivor’s experience. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t leave the house very often. I moved my kitchen table in front of my front door at night and sleep with all this lights on. I have nightmares and waking up talking in my sleep still today, every night. Isolation became and still is a part of my life. I was unable to work and pay my bills or get out of bed. I was/am a wreck…but slowly taking my power back and feeling a tad better…one step and one day at a time.

    Last week I made a decision to report the crime to the local Palm Springs Police. I was terrified! They were really professional and kind to me. The case has now been sent to a detective. Now I just wait to be contacted. Afterwards I felt so much freedom! I told my truth, used my voice and I did the right thing. Although not knowing what happens next and when he will be confronted fills me with anxiety.
    My current AA sponsor when I finally told her, 4 days after the rape, was angry that it took me 4 days to tell her. And she had been on a date with this man before, where she told me he grabbed her breast and tried to move sexually very fast. She then told me that “our relationship was now convoluted and that she didn’t think she could sponsor me any longer.” This was roughly a week post rape. I was devastated and it only made my shame worse and made me feel utterly abandoned in my safe recovery community. I’m afraid to go to mixed meeting because he could be there. So, like before I only go to women’s meetings, but now I feel ashamed each time I walk in. We AA women pride ourselves on rallying for the women who are going through a hard time., surrounding her with love and support, for many more reasons other than they might want to drink. Such as health problems, death of a parent, spouse, job insecurity, depression, etc. I was told “rape was an outside problem” and that I probably better not talk about it. My rape has affected my sobriety (I did not drink and have maintained my sobriety!), my self esteem, relations in the world, inability to function in everyday life, It makes other uncomfortable to talk about it. I think they are afraid to talk about it for fear of hurting me or bringing it up. They ignore me and look right though me, these strong and wise women. I think they are just afraid. I try to be loving and understanding. I remind myself they are just doing the best they can.

    I want to help change this. Nobody should be violated so deeply and feel they have to keep that shame inside. It takes guts to talk about it! Believe me! I feel ostracized, invisible and having a hard time shaking of this darn self-hate, self blame that only hurts me. It’s as if I’m punishing myself for something I didn’t do.

    I know the only way to freedom and forgiveness is to talk about it. Tell my truth so that it may inspire other women not only to report these violent crimes, but be able to talk about it and bring about changes in attitudes. I want to do this! I am doing this, but it’s a lonely road out here in Palm Springs. I was shocked to find out the entire Coachella Valley has only ONE rape crisis center. And from the looks of their office they are in some deep need of more funding. They are an amazing program. Without them I would be in the dark cave of my broken heart. My rape advocate ROCKS and has been beside me every step of the way. I am humbled with gratitude.
    Regardless, I am embracing 2015 head on with love in my heart, courage to speak my truth and find peace within. I have a deep desire to make a difference in this world for women and men who have been sexually assaulted and raped. One voice can make a difference. Collectively our voices create change.
    Sincerely yours,
    Adrian (I go by Adrianna) Wilson, Survivor! “A Heart and soul on the mend” in Palm Springs, CA


    1. Adrianna- I am so glad we got to talk. You are very brave and courageous. People need to be warned and you should be supported. We are here to hear your story and thank you !


    2. im sorry this happened to you…i have no respect for women in AA who blame and hush up and dont support women in AA who have been sexually abused by an AA member. i have no trust in AA members anymore.At one time i liked AA folk,even loved some…my last comunication with them i was told i wasnt liked by any of them and i was hated.i spoke out openly in meetings in my first weeks there about the sexual abuse i had from an old timer.i was also shunned got at and verbally abused by AA sponsor when i spoke out in meetings infront of the AA man,who abused me. im sorry this happened to you. i hope the monstor gets jailed. and those women are cold hearted.freaks.


    3. I literally was double-talked into AA after “freezing” during cramming for finals and writing papers. The doctor on call at our Uni Health Center was supposedly an active,m staunch AA/NA — but when I entered medical school, I learned that no one can take 3.0g (30 x 100mg caps, average daily dose then) of Nembutal (pentobarbital) and lived. I was a college junior, gay and good-looking. I was 13th stepped by high school boys, a couple of boys my age who worked in the auto industry and a couple of college freshmen in AA. I was young, but I knew serious cruising when I’m part of it. Now, a few years’ difference didn’t mean anything back in the day and these boys were really my type. Truly, a good time was had by all but nothing even was remotely coerced. No, I didn’t buy the AA version of the Jonestown Kool-Aid and cult. Now that I am a (multiply) Board-certified psychiatrist, with a PhD (in Pharmacology) and an excellent reputation, I can influence my colleagues NEVER to refer to 12-Step Groups. I think this is one of the reasons (other than my Mom’s “You’re a natural supervisor and administrator tough, but fair.” She should know; she still holds the record for the longest service as a Deputy Supt in NYC.) I opted to combine practicing psychiatry with training and supervising new docs during their PSY rotations and Residencies. Thinking back, I wonder what would have happened had I been a FEMALE college junior. Female sexual predators are not unknown and there always were more teen-age boys in AA/NA than girls. I enjoyed every minute of being 13th Stepped — these were sexy, handsome, masculine boys and HIV was not yet “discovered”. I get the feeling that girls in that same age group aren’t wired sexually the way both gay and straight boys are…and, yes, I’ve had boys make passes at me while doing volunteer work (“physical” medicine, therapy, meds, etc.), I let them know that some lines are NEVER to be crossed, especially teacher-student and doctor-patient. I emphasize NEVER and explain. They get it. The kids I work with at the LGBTQ Clinic and Covenant House internalized that if they were “hot,” you thank an older authority figure with at least oral sex! (The girls, too, but one “Yo, I’m gay, Baby Girl” is usually sufficient; I’ve taught other staff members sone techniques to delete the message without hurting the messenger.) 13th Stepping is truly an abomination; it’s as much a betrayal of trust as Rape By Persuasion and Intimidation and, as a Mandated Reporter (and the brother of our former Sex Crimes Bureau Chief who left with q 94% conviction rate) as well as a certified Expert Witness, both cops and child protective services listen when I call in and I know my signature commands at least pro forma respect.


    4. Adrianna: I commend you on your courage. I did’nt plan on working with 13th Step victims, but I know the game very well. I’m smarter than these 13th Steppers and I don’t hesitate to use my juice with the New York & Queens County DA, the NYPD, etc. In my professional opinion as a veteran practicing psychiatrist, your sponsor is an ASSHOLE…and I’ll sign off on that diagnosis. How dare she? Your being raped is NOT about her, even remotely. Press the DA to go for Rape 1, Sexual Assault, etc. Was may think or even believe that some of us are stupid enough to belief that the professional privilege your counselor and I EARNED does not apply to anything said or done in an AA meeting, A few subpoenas (signed by a judge) issued to members of your home cult only can be ignored at their own peril. A few days in a cell fro Criminal Contempt, especially for so-called “high-bottom drunks” can convince them to obey the law. Also, the DA needs to remind these clowns that failure to report a Felony IS itself a Felony. When I’ve worked with middle-school age kids who have been literally talked into believing it was all good to do what their teacher, doctor or even priest tells them its OK, many of those kids ARE gay and it’s my job to validate their feelings and explain how what their stepdad or teacher or coach did is VERY wrong. Needless to say, WE’RE (this takes a tx team effort and parental support, if there are parents who are not complicit or “Incest Moms” — an old term meaning that Mom knows, but doesn’t want to know, that her husband or boyfriend is having sex with her underage daughter; I could write another dissertation about all the etiologies behind this. However, I remember my Grandma Anna’s dictum: have her tough Sicilian brothers kill the bastard and then deal with the child, This was so common in NYC’s immigrant districts in the 1920s-1930s, according to my Mom, my Grandma Anna (b. 1912) and my Aunt Rosie (b.1910), that it was the reason my Grandma Anna, widow when my Mom was 2, would not date or even entertain the thought of a second marriage. Fortunately, she had a strong extended family and moved back “home” with them. My Aunt Rosie later told me that STEPdaughters were particularly vulnerable because the predator didn’t consider having sex with a 13-y/o stepdaughter as serious as the same crime with his biological daughter! KEEP BUGGING THE ADA “RIDING” THE CASE AND HIS/HER BOSS (usually Chief of the Sex Crimes Bureau) and remember that NOTHING said, done, committed or discussed by AAs or within an AA meeting has ANY special privileged status. God bless,,,


      1. Hi everyone, firstly thank you all so much for your support and helpful words. It’s been a little over 3 months since the rape. I am feeling stronger everyday, but it has not been an easy journey. This man still goes to AA meetings in my community, so my fear level is always heightened. I only go to women’s meetings as I always have, but I have cut my meeting down as I’m not getting the support I thought I would. I’m clean and sober and will have 7 years May 22, 2015. The women are kind and happy to see me but don’t want to “talk” about it. I’ve been told not to share in meeting because it’s an “outside issue” and basically shamed into silence. The sponsor who told me to keep quiet is no longer my trusted friend. I am both sad and angry for what she did to me in such a vulnerable time just minutes after being raped. She shamed me, humiliated me, lied to me and kept me from getting the help I needed.. Police and hospital. Looking at it now it does seem criminal. Now, I use my outside resources to access help to keep healing. I can’t really give you a police update bc it’s private, but I can tell you that it took over 2 months for me to talk to my “assigned” detective, as he never returned my calls. They are just now beginning to take some slow action, but at least it’s action. I am not a victim, but a thriver and I refuse to let this monster rob me of one more day of life, happiness and serenity! He’s just not worth it. He will get his. My goal now is to heal myself, continue taking legal action and maybe one day I can be of great help to another woman or man who has to suffer this honorific ordeal. And maybe in my way, I pray that I am making it a safer world for us all by using my voice and actions for truth and justice!


      2. Hi. Nice to have you give us an update. Im sorry you have been so poorly treated by everyone…or most in regards to being raped by an AA member. I will come out there to meet with you when my ankle is better. We can document and get him arrested.

        Warmest ….Massive


  8. HI Georgia- Thanks for asking and writing here. Yes it is a huge problem. No I am not holding any workshops but I can help you create your own in your own area with a group of concerned members. We created great literature.


  9. Sexual predators and just plain con men are a very big problem in AA. Many young people’s’ meetings have several known pedofiles attending then settings on a regular basis. Very few AA members show any interest in addressing this, and it’s getting worse.

    Your web site is commendable, and necessary. Keep up the good work. Are you running any workshops on addressing the problem in its many forms?


    1. Adrianna- OMG I just saw your post as I was signing off and I could not stop reading. I feel so badly for you . Call me and if yo want we can meet up halfway. I am in Los Angeles. Have you seen my trailer for my film. The 13th Step? Anyway that is not important are and you being okay. I am so glad you went to the police finally. There is more you can do if you want some input. I will help you. I will drive out there and go to your meeting with you and bring my pamphlets and talk about safety so you do not have to feel alone. Let me know.


      contact me at and we can talk


    2. I hate to generate Comment after Comment, but those of us that watch Law & Order SVU (a few of my sister and her team’s cases were dramatized a while back and I just saw a former patient on Netflix) undoubtedly noticed that Det. Rawlings’ “sponsor” was 13th Stepping her and using the old cliche that his DISEASE made him do it. I don’t know the guys & the gals on the production end, but why didn’t they use that episode and others involving this predatory sponsor to take a damned stand. I did consult on some L&O episodes (coaching Dr. Olivet, Dr. Skoda and Dr. Huang in their roles. BD Wong isn’t only a world-class actor, but he and I both are gay, so we had a chance to defuse some homophobic prejudices with hard research…yep, that was I who dug up the valid/reliable research and BD sounded the most like a real shrink) and I watched all three editions faithfully for years. NEVER was the message conveyed that rapists and pedophiles are not responsible for their actions. The standard excuses (“Someday you will have to deal with people like us., etc” were roundly demolished.) Somehow,m they dropped the ball concerning the 12-Step Cults and 13th Stepping, I’m going to give BD a call and have myself a little chat with whomever is pimping as their Tech Advisor. No responsible MD/DO/MSW, etc., would let this TACIT approval remain in a script, Perhaps when the DA of the County of New York says he’s withdrawing the Welcome Mat and his personnel, we’ll see better, truer scripts. (No, I don’t know the present DA at all, but I did know and worked with the legendary District Attorney of New York County, Robert Morgenthau. I noted that when he retired, he had been DA for my entire life, give or take. L&O should NOT take sides regarding the proven illegal activities of these cults, They wouldn’t present a “balanced portrait” if they dramatized part of Jim Jones’ “White Nights,”: Nazi-like regime, mammoth drug abuse (I found his to scan and autopsy chilling…the same doc prescribing all this stuff? That violates ANOTHER scared oath, the Hippocratic /oath, which begins with, “First, do no harm”.


      1. Thanks for the welcome. This isn’t exactly as I planned my career path, but I didn’t become a doc, let alone shrink, to write Xanax, Prozac and Ambien scripts for the affluent patients who pay my full fee ($400/session) and really don’t discuss much of therapeutic pertinence in session. One new shrink told me that being MY patient is a status symbol is this area (among the most affluent on Long Island) — especially since I am the Heir
        presumptive to the throne of my mentor who has retired and relocated. For decades, Dr F was considered the best Clinical Psychiatrist on Long Island — and he was, too.He was a consummate bartender in terms of creating regimens for Affective Disorders and some psychoses, I’m glad I make enough money to work pro bono . No Higher Power bullshit, here. I’m not the best Catholic on Earth, but I do try and I believe God put me in some situations where IF I really was a dedicated healer, I’d opt to do the right thing, not the most profitable. The harm the 12-Step cults have done is impossible to determine and their protesting too much is indicative of the 12-Steppers constant attempts to justify the unjustifiable. I did have an Rx drug problem in college so I cannot be barred from an AA/NA meeting. Those bastards cost me two years, maybe three, of my education and my life.They need to be called to account and my journalism profs taught me that one ofd the press’s primary function is to “shed light on dark places” and “let Truth and Falsehood battle…” (Milton) in the cold light of logic, real; knowledge and reason. Good to be here, I can’t give medical advice except mentioning such info as the dangers of non-physicians giving medical advice and the foolishness to taking it.


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